Shoot Promos on Race, Class, Gender, Etc

"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." - Ralph Waldo Emerson Warning: the following blog deals with areas of mental health and suicide ideations that may be triggering. I won't take it personally if you skip this one. Based on the viewership the last few weeks, y'all skipping anyways. So f*ck it. LOL "What is going well in your life?" My therapist RB asks me through the zoom screen. During our last session two weeks ago I shared that my mental health had declined and it felt like I was back at square one. The throbbing headaches returned. And the quality of my sleep had been inconsistent. The suicide ideations returned and whatever progress I had made over the previous six months felt like it was all for naught. And what actual progress had I made? I was still heartbroken. Though I tried to cautiously date since then, every "I...

"Lift the veil that obscures the heart and there you will find what you are looking for." - Kabir For the last several weeks I've been dealing with the grief of my vision board and everything it symbolized. For me it was grieving the loss of a life I'll never get to experience; a life that validated and rewarded all of the trials, birthing pains, and rebirths I experienced within this lifetime. It validated the decision to keep trying because there was sunshine on the other side of depression and suicide. It was the manifestation of self-love that I had constructed that identified and honored the coping mechanisms and survival tools I created as a result of a lifetime of rejection, abandonment, and feeling unworthy. When I discarded my vision board I severed the delicate bungee cord that allowed me to stare into the abyss and be roped back into the realm of the living. I spent the next week in a virtual free fall and returning to old fears and anxieties: that nothing ...

"It is said that we must take the time to stop and smell the roses. What they don't tell you, is that YOU are the rose that you need to stop for the most. You are the rose that you must stop and love the most, you are that flower." - C. Joybell C. I laid in bed on Monday night with tears streaming through my eyes. I had an amazing weekend where I got to catch up with some of my dear friends: Amy who I hadn't seen in several months, Krista for two outdoor concerts/shows on consecutive nights: Diana Ross at the Hollywood Bowl and Wayne Brady & Christopher Jackson at The Ford LA to support Marissa, and her nonprofit 4C Lab, and the Tupac Wake Me When I'm Free museum with Piper and her children. I returned to work on Sunday afternoon where I completed my tasks early enough that I was able to watch the newest House of the Dragon , the Game of Thrones spinoff series, before I went home. Normally, I would be grateful to have one of those experiences to look forward...

"You've always been what you are. That's not new. What you'll get used to is knowing it." - Cassandra Clare One of my favorite movies as a child was Rocky IV , the epitome of 1980's excess, cliches, and cheesiness. It certainly isn't the best Rocky but it's in my estimation the most entertaining Rocky film. Written and Directed by Sylvester Stallone himself, during the height of his star power and influence, when he could get any project green lit. Never to be confused by the sharp, witty dialogue of Aaron Sorkin or a Martin Scorsese level auteur, though you can argue that Sly certainly had a specific vision for this sequel. Nearly a third of the movie is composed of montages, including a montage in the middle of the film set to "No Easy Way Out" by Robert Tepper, which recapped the previous 3 Rocky films in a tidy 4:25. Would I have preferred a scene where Stallone performed a dramatic monologue to serve as the film's exposition? I don...

"I guess that's the thing about a hero's journey. You might not start out a hero, and you might not even come back that way. But you change, which is the same as everything changing. The journey changes you, whether or not you know it, and whether or not you want it to." - Kami Garcia Growing up as an only child in the late 80's/early 90's, the highlight of my week was Saturday morning when I would have my bowl of sugary cereal, plop myself in front of the TV, and watch Saturday morning cartoons. Before my parents could afford cable TV, there were 3 channels (CBS, NBC, and ABC) and from an early age I would curate my cartoon consumption switching back and forth between channels based on when certain shows were on (which may explain why I continue to obsessively curate playlists with Spotify and watch lists with Netflix, Disney Plus, and HBO Max). Bugs Bunny and Tom and Jerry were on ABC, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Garfield were on CBS, and live action si...

"All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are." - Robin Williams I first remember watching Robin Williams in Hook where he played an adult Peter Pan, the child who never grew up (or in the case of the film an adult who rediscovers his inner child) that I associated with him going forward. His voice acting work in Aladdin where his boundless improvisation and riffing talents took 10-year old me on a virtual "acid trip", before I even knew what that meant. In Mrs. Doubtfire , where his transformation into the lovable Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire taught me how comedy could allow one to digest the more serious themes of divorce, separation, and the impact on the family. I watched  What Dreams May Come  at a sleepover with some of my church friends, where I was way too sober to enjoy the "creative" portrayals of death, suicide, and afterlife. As an aside, I witnessed my friends get stoned and...

"On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do." - Eckhart Tolie "Life is meaningless".  In a room of 150 people (obviously pre-pandemic), I'm sitting among the back rows, toward the aisle, taking copious notes, even though the course instructor encouraged us not to take notes. That "bombshell" produced some looks of bewilderment, some people exhaled deeply like the weight of the world was removed from their shoulders, some began laughing at their own absurdities.  Landmark Worldwide is a personal and professional growth, training, and development company focusing on helping achieving success, fulfillment, and greatness. I signed up for "The Landmark Forum", their introductory course in April of 2018 after I made acquaintances with Juls, a woman I gave a Lyft ride to a month prior. I didn't have the disposable income to pay for the course and Juls offered to pay for...

  *Let me preface this by saying that I have not been clinically diagnosed with depression nor am I on anti-depressants. Though I am strongly considering it and will most likely seek either therapy and/or medication at some point in 2022* I have been living with depression for most of my adult life. I think many of us have the misconception that depression are intense feelings of sadness, like when people say "i'm so depressed..." staying home, watching TV, eating ice cream out of the carton, and wallowing in self-pity.  I can't speak for anyone else, but for me depression looks like going through days, weeks, and months in a perpetual haze, like a giant fog that you can't see through. It looks like showing up for work everyday and going through the motions and hoping no one criticizes or even worse, compliments me in my work. It looks like scrolling through social media for puppy videos and memes, for those little shots of dopamine to get me through the next hour...