Chapter 2: Business Cards, Branding, and Keeping It Real
When you attend a business meeting in the Korean community, one of the first things you do is exchange business cards. There's a whole etiquette that I had to learn through trial & error, and many apologies for being American born. It's respectful to present cards with both hands, pass and receive it with your right hand, never with the left hand because it's a sign of disrespect. You go around the room and exchange them one-by-one, never take one and pass them down. Once you receive it, it's rude to immediately place it in your pocket or wallet; you're supposed to study it carefully and place it on the table in front of you.
Why the importance? Koreans use business cards to learn the name, position, and status of the person they're speaking with. While there are venerable titles we generally use for elders, business cards inform the person am I speaking with someone who outranks me, a subordinate, or someone of similar rank? When I was the Managing Director of Korea Academy for Educators (K.A.F.E.) I noticed the incredulous, passive aggressive tone others took when speaking to me, because they couldn't believe that this plucky upstart who could barely speak the language, was the point person and mouthpiece of an organization.
What business cards were to my parents' generation, it's more about branding today. Millennials, Gen-Z, those who are self-employed, and/or leverage their social media presence are trained to think of themselves as a personal brand. Instead of a business card, it's a social media handle. We create public personas that show off our levels of experience, expertise, competencies, and achievements. Our followers are our references. Oh, you have a million followers? Here's a book deal and your own cooking show. Please endorse our leggings and flat tummy tea. We're supposed to be mindful of our posts, comments, and likes because it indirectly reflects on the companies and/or schools we associate with. I learned that lesson the hard way when I posted a picture with an acquaintance, who happens to be in the adult industry, at a red carpet event. What I thought was a harmless, lovely picture between friends, had my mentor call me the next day claiming that she was receiving numerous complaints from donors (it turned out to be one person, who could have asked me directly to take the post down. Whatever, f*ck 'em).
"I do not pretend to be a divine man, but I do believe in divine guidance, divine power, and in the fulfillment of divine prophecy. I am not educated nor am I an expert in any particular field. But I am sincere, and my sincerity are my credentials." - Malcolm X, 1964
More than any specific calling that I can summarize on a business card, I've tried to be guided by my sincerity and values. I was raised on 90's hip-hop where we were taught to keep it real. Investing my energy into causes that resonated with me. My activity a direct reflection of my convictions at the time. Finding calmness and peace in that balance of the two. When I was affiliated with KAFE, I was struggling with identity and desiring to feel connected with my Korean heritage. Enrolling through KAFE as a participant and then leading the professional development workshops on Korean history and culture allowed me to feel a sense of belonging and ownership of my identity.
Once I made peace with my hyphenated identity as both Korean and American, I was able to begin this next phase and get out of my AAPI bubble, working in a predominantly African American environment with African American and Hispanic families. I'm still not 100% sure what about this specific point in my journey personally connected me with Domestic Violence. Perhaps it's the unfortunate reality that several people in my life are survivors of domestic abuse. Perhaps it's the fact the domestic violence remains underreported in communities of color, adding to the importance of amplifying those voices and breaking those taboos. Perhaps it's me trying to reconcile some unresolved conflict about wanting to be a safe space and trauma informed in my relationship with women contrasted with the unhealed traumas I observe around masculinity. On one hand I'm aware of the ways I've benefitted from a Confucian community that favored sons, on the other hand, I've also been alienated and traumatized by that same patriarchal community for lacking the machismo of my peers.
As I continue to find my footing in between opposing worlds, somewhere between Korean and American, masculine and feminine, privileged and disadvantaged, spiritual and hedonist, I will continue to seek my place and purpose in the margins, moving in my own speed and in my own rhythms. All the while my sincerity being my brand.
Nothing else on my business card matters.
Portrait photography by: https://www.zacharyleeportrait.com
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