Chapter 18: Silk Sonic, Tasting Menus, and Leave the Yondr Open

"In his face there came to be a brooding peace that is seen most often in the faces of the very sorrowful or the very wise. But still he wandered through the streets of the town, always silent and alone." - Carson McCullers

"Self-actualized people also tend to be independent and resourceful: they are less likely to rely upon external authorities to direct their lives." - Martela & Pessi, 2018

This past week was the first vacation I've taken since I began working in Domestic Violence and my first vacation since April 2018, when I went to New Orleans for WrestleMania 34 with my best friend Lexi at the time. This was long overdue, having long since past the point of burn out from work and the PTSD of being a frontline worker during a pandemic. There was always a reason to delay my break. Colleagues who took their vacations and the struggles to find coverage for those missing shifts. Several colleagues who left the organization to pursue other opportunities, whether for higher pay and/or due to their own burnout. Waiting to go on vacation with a significant other, only the relationships never progressing to the point that we would be traveling together. And so I waited and waited, as my vacation hours accumulated and my fuel tank operated on the negative scale. Remember the scene in the 1984 film This is Spinal Tap where guitarist Nigel Tufnel described his amplifier "these go to eleven" instead of the usual zero to ten, well this is the reverse where my knob went below zero.

At the behest of my best friend Piper and my therapist Dr. RB, I finally scheduled a week off in August. My boss was extremely supportive of taking time off and so at the end of June I formally requested a week off. Now the only question was where would I go and what would I do? While talking with Piper about the family trip she was planning with all of her children, I entertained thoughts of traveling with them. But this was her memory to create with her kids and I didn't want to impose. More importantly, I had booked several short trips for myself in the past, trying to do my version of the Anthony Bourdain's The Layover, so curating my own trip and experience was my "self love" and "finding myself". One of the reasons I disliked traveling with my parents growing up is because we usually bought some kind of travel package with a guided tour. I remember family trips to both Yellowstone and Hearst Castle and not enjoying myself because we traveled on a tour bus and I didn't want to socialize with anyone. However, I didn't pay one cent for either trip so I'll STFU now instead of being ungrateful. 

Now that I'm an adult, I'm willing to do the research and put in the extra effort to find things I'll actually enjoy. What really makes me happy? Live music and good food. The first concert that came to mind was "An Evening With Silk Sonic", a residency in Las Vegas by artists Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak. I had real fears of attending a live music show, especially indoors, since the start of the pandemic, but after listening to the sonic orgasms from the Silk Sonic album, I joked that I would risk COVID to see them live. With my activity selected, I booked my hotel slightly off the Strip (since I neither gamble, nor go to nightclubs, nor like the idea of being surrounded by cigarette smoke, all I needed was a gym and pool) and utilized Social Media to get restaurant suggestions. I was happy to find Partage, a french restaurant located in Chinatown, that offers various tasting menu options as my fine dining, indulgent meal where I would deviate from my usual "plant based preferred" diet. Knowing that dinner might upset my stomach, the other restaurant I selected was The Modern Vegan, a fully plant based bar and restaurant that would be much more casual and offered the kind of comfort food that I associate with vacation. Plus it gave me a reason to visit Felicia, my friend for almost 10 years, who had recently been the victim of a hit-and-run accident. My itinerary was set.

I began my first night in Vegas with a reservation for 1 at the bar for Partage. Located inside of a busy strip mall in Las Vegas' Chinatown, the restaurant recommended arriving early to find parking or preferably call a ride share. Ever the stickler for time, I departed from the hotel a full 40 minutes before my reservation even though the restaurant was only 2 miles away (like seriously who does this!) and was able to successfully find parking. The restaurant was able to seat me a half hour early as I assumed my position at the bar. Immediately I struck up a conversation with the bartender, explaining that I learned about the restaurant through an Instagram reel, and though vegetarian, I had zero intention of restricting my menu choices nor did I have any intention of being frugal. There were 5 courses, 7 courses, and signature tasting menus available and I elected to go with 7 courses for $125: 3 appetizers, 1 seafood course, 1 meat course, 1 cheese course, and 1 dessert. After suffering from gout in July 2019, I have pretty much given up alcohol altogether and because I had already committed to eating meat and seafood, I wasn't going to compound that with alcohol. So I selected a mocktail and a side of cranberry juice on the side as a palette and system cleanser in between courses. 

Even though I ordered the 7 course tasting menu, I still ended up eating 9 courses because they brought out an amuse-bouche (single bite sized hors d'oeuvre) and additional dessert at the end. As a self-professed "foodie", this was everything I loved about a fine dining food experience: the servers and waiters described each course in detail as well as suggestions how the chef recommends the course be eaten, the obligatory food pictures (I am Asian after all), the deliberate tasting of each component before combining them into one bite, and often finishing courses with me dabbing my finger on the plate to scoop up the remaining sauces. By the third course I struck up a conversation with another AAPI male sitting to my left at the bar, who happened to be a private chef enjoying the week off in Las Vegas. I would love to describe each course in detail and it's beautiful symphony of flavors but I was left in a food coma induced haze afterwards. Upon reflection The scallop carpaccio, Alaskan halibut, 4 oz prime beef ribeye with trio of potatoes, and the goat cheese courses were my favorites. A lot of good recalling those courses will do, they change their menu monthly. Being able to appreciate, consume, and converse about food was a perfect evening for me and I was able to retire back to my hotel room in peace. 

The next evening, "An Evening With Silk Sonic" was everything I loved and loathed. The venue was the Dolby Theater inside of the Park MGM, a 5,200 seat venue that is both large enough to feel like a spectacle but intimate enough to place all of the focus on the performance. Prior to arriving I received multiple emails that stated that phones and videos would be prohibited during the show. What I had anticipated was that security would prohibit any use of flash photography during the show or require people to check their phones like they would a coat rack (at least how it's portrayed in film and television, I had never been to an establishment that fancy where they took my coat). Instead, they placed our phones inside of a yondr pouch and locked it with a magnet once our tickets were scanned. Clearly we are all way too attached to our smart phones, but I understood the artists/venue's intentions to have the audience fully engaged during the show and also their desire not to have their performances filmed. 

This is where going to a concert solo did not pay off. Once my phone was entrapped like Dream was by Sir Roderick Burgess (a reference to the comic book and Netflix series The Sandman) by the diabolical Yondr, my connection to the outside world was gone. I couldn't text any friends, nor could I follow the FBI's raid of Mar-A-Lago (I'm including this detail as a timestamp). There wasn't any available seating in the foyer or concourse, and I wasn't going to buy any drinks. There wasn't even an opening act or DJ to warm up the crowd. In hindsight, I could have easily waited another hour before I entered the venue. Instead I sat in my seat for over and hour while I observed a hoard of maskless (I would conservatively guess that about 5% of the audience wore masks) folk entered the theater with drinks in hand. Remaining shoulder-to-shoulder in a maskless setting for that long was giving me major anxiety and I was on the verge of suffering a panic attack. My foot was tapping furiously as I tugged away at the Yondr pouch, trying fruitlessly to wedge a tiny opening in my phone so I could at least check my notifications. I began contemplating whether I should just leave altogether. Screw this concert, let me enjoy another dinner.

Finally the lights dimmed, the curtains opened, and Silk Sonic's show began. I went from panic attack to sheer music bliss as we all rose to our feet and danced along to the music. The backing band was fantastic as were the background singers. There were recordings of funk icon Bootsy Collins playing on the screens to introduce certain songs. There were fireworks to accentuate the choruses. A drum riser was wheeled on and off stage for Anderson .Paak be a virtuoso on the drums for certain songs ("I am warning you: if you touch my drums, I will stab you in the neck with a knife." - Step Brothers). The dichotomy between Anderson and Bruno were like Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly in Step Brothers. Anderson .Paak was a consummate showman, one part James Brown, one part Stevie Wonder, one part Morris Day, and one part Randy Watson ("Sexual Chocolate!!!") with his retro 70's style wig, clearly AAPI is in his blood to pull off those bangs. Bruno Mars was clearly a disciple of Michael Jackson with his level of perfectionism: every vocal inflection, every movement on stage was performed with such precision and commitment to putting on the best show possible. They performed all of the songs from their album, mixed in a few solo records from each artist, and even performed a humorous interlude of "We Took Your Phones Away" to poke fun at the audience and my anxiety. My "favorite song" kept jumping from "Fly As Me", "Smokin' Out the Window", to "After Last Night" as the show went along. After an action packed 90 minute show and the door was left open for their encore (get it? The performed "Leave the Door Open"), the confetti rained down and the house lights went up as we filed out of the Dolby and our phones were finally emancipated. 

"Although self-actualizing people have deep bonds with others, they value solitude and are at peace being alone and not in crowds. 

Sometimes they love to enjoy their solitary life. This quality also makes them thoughtful and insightful beings."

As I drove back to my hotel room, I was still riding the adrenaline from the show. I was also starving because I hadn't eaten anything since 5pm and it was now nearly midnight. It was bittersweet to reflect on the activities of the previous two nights. On one hand, a fine dining experience and a memorable concert was as authentic and self-actualized representation of everything I love and what I needed to recharge. I didn't need to people please and make sure anyone else was having a good time, nor did I have to be anyone's designated driver. On the other hand, I cried when I went to sleep that night because I didn't have anyone to share these special moments with. Meals are communal events that bring people together so my takeaway from my evening at Partage was how much more special it'll feel when I come back with one of my closest foodie friends: Piper, Connie, and/or Krista. Hopefully Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak will tour together more in the future and the opportunity will be there to share in this experience as well. The old me would have responded to the loneliness by strolling aimlessly through the Casino floor, people watching at the bar, or finding a strip club to chat with the local dancers. Instead, I sat with my loneliness and found peace that I had done everything I wanted to do and there was nothing left for me on this trip. 

While I was in Las Vegas, singer-songwriter Banks announced on her social media that she was doing an in-store signing at Urban Outfitters on Friday. For admission to this event, they required fans to purchase a vinyl copy of her new album Serpentina at their store, receive a wristband, and bring the receipt. Worrying that they would sell out before I returned from Las Vegas, my friend Serena was kind enough to brave Downtown Los Angeles traffic and purchase a vinyl for me. I was therefore able to conclude my week off by meeting one of my favorite artists, share my admiration for her growth as a life performer, share how much her music has meant to me, and have her sign my CD's and vinyl. 

What I took away from this week was being self-actualized is to be unapologetically myself and authentic with what I desire. Beginning the week with taking my best friend and her children to the airport and ending the week actually going back to work so that Serena could attend a bachelorette party, I purposefully and intentionally crafted my week and did everything from a sense of want and not obligation. I took full advantage of my solitude and eventually reached a sense of peace from my loneliness.

I would like to share more but "What Happens in Vegas" remains trapped in a yondr pouch.  

Portrait Photography: https://www.zacharyleeportrait.com